HOW MUCH LOVE IS TOO MUCH LOVE.....

HOW MUCH LOVE IS TOO MUCH...WHEN IS LOVING SOMEONE SO MUCH TOO MUCH.....

IM HAVING A PROBLEM WITH THIS I LOVE MY BOYFRIEND VERY VERY DEEPLY...I NEVER THOUGHT I WOULD BE THE ONE TO BE SO CRAZY IN LOVE ABOUT ANY BODY....I HAVE HAD MANY FRIENDS WHO HAVE FOUND THESE KIND OF BOYFRIENDS IN WHICH THEY SPEND ALL THEIR TIME WITH AND CANT STAND TO BE WITHOUT THEM AND IN MANY CASES OUR FRIENDSHIPS HAVE SUFFERED FROM THIS CAUSE....SO I VOWED TO MYSELF TO NEVER ALLOW THIS TO HAPPEN AND I NEVER WANNA BE IN A RELATIONSHIP LIKE THAT AND I HAVE GREAT MAN IN MY LIFE WHO RESPECTS THAT AND ALLOWS ME TO HAVE THE FREEDOM TO ANYTHING AND EVERYTHING I WANT TO DO BUT...I BEING NEW TO THIS LOVE GAME ALLOWED MY SELFISHNESS TO GET THE BEST OF ME AND STARTED DOING THE THING I VOWED NOT TO DO....I STARTED TO STOP CALLING MY FRIENDS AND FAMILY AND CANCELING DATES AND OUTINGS....AND GET THIS NOT CUZ MY BOYFRIEND FORCED OR MADE ME DO THESE THINGS....I JUST FORGOT AND STOPPED CARING AS MUCH...AND ON A SIDE NOTE MY BOYFRIEND WAS AWAY IN NEW YORK FOR TWO YEARS AND I MISSED HIM SO MUCH AND WHEN HE CAME BACK I WANTED TO SPEND EVERY MINUTE WITH HIM AND THOSE MINUTES TURNED TO MONTHS AND ALL THE TIME IM NOT GIVING MY FRIENDS AND FAMILY THE ATTENTION THAT I SHOULD HAVE BEEN GIVING THEM, THAT THEY DESERVED....I ALLOWED MY SELFISHNESS TAKE CONTROL AND MY BOYFRIEND WAS LIKE YO WE HAD A DEAL THAT WE WOULD NOT PUSH FRIENDS AND FAMILY AWAY JUST CUZ WE WANNA BE WITH EACH OTHER ALL THE TIME....AND IM LIKE I KNOW AND I STILL FAILED....BUT HE ON THE OTHER HAND GAVE HIS FRIENDS TIME AND FAMILY HIS TIME AND THIS MADE ME FURIOUS....CUZ IM LIKE HOW CAN HE DO THIS TO ME HOW CAN HE JUST LEAVE ME FOR HIS FRIENDS AND I DONT DO THAT TO HIM? AND EVERY TIME HE WOULD LEAVE ME I WOULD GET ANGRY AND TALK SHIT AND MAKE HIM FEEL BAD CUZ HE WAS GIVING HIS FRIENDS AND FAMILY TIME....BUT IM NOT REALLY MAD AT HIM AS MUCH AS IM MAD AT MYSELF FOR LETTING MY FAMILY AND FRIENDS DOWN AND I HAVE PLEADED MY CASE TO FRIENDS AND FAMILY THAT I WILL DO BETTER BUT THEY DONT WANNA HEAR IT THEY WANNA SEE ACTIONS!!! AND IM STILL WORKING ON THAT BUT I ALSO NEED TO WORK ON NOT MAKING MY LOVE ONE FEEL LIKE SHIT CUZ IM THE ONE DOING STUFF WRONG....AND REALIZED ITS NOT EVEN CUZ I WANNA BE INCLUDED ITS ONLY CUZ IM ASHAMED OF MYSELF FOR ALLOWING THIS TO HAPPEN CUZ I HATED THE WAY I FELT WHEN MY FRIENDS DID THOSE THINGS TO ME AND NOW LOOK AT ME.....SO INSTEAD OF TRYING TO FIGURE OUT WAYS TO MAKE MY SITUATION BETTER I HURT THE MY BOO BY ACCUSING HIM OF NOT LOVING ME ENOUGH AND ALL ALONG I WAS SELFISH AND MEAN....SO ALL IN ALL I APOLOGIZE TO MY BOO, MY FRIENDS YALL KNOW WHO IM TALKING ABOUT AND TO MY SISTERS CUZ I KNOW YALL BE LOW KEY MISSING ME....HAHA AND I KNOW I AINT BEEN RIGHT BY MY COUSINS TO AND YALL KNOW WHO YALL IS...

IN CLOSING I KNOW WHAT REAL LOVE IS NOW AND I KNOW THAT TOO MUCH LOVE IS A FACADE THAT LEADS TO CONTROL AND I DONT BELIEVE A RELATIONSHIPS SHOULD BE ABOUT CONTROL IT SHOULD BE ABOUT LOVE AND RESPECTING UR PARTNER THE SAME WAY U WANT TO BE LOVED AND RESPECTED